Wednesday, July 13, 2011

老归?

从来没有想过到了中年又回到年少时般,时时需要一个人面对生活!孩儿们一个一个地成长,一个个地离开身边!枕边人也常常需要陪伴、照顾远方儿女而不在左右!放工回到“家”里不再见到香喷喷、热腾腾的菜肴美食!也常常懒得到数公里外去寻觅填饱胃口的东西,夜里迎接的是疲倦和静寂!人的成长,从母亲的怀抱里到用四肢爬行,再用两只脚行走,又在用“三”只脚行走,再在被他人抱着走入人生的归宿 --- 尘土!一生走来,从一个人到两个人,又多了几个人,再在回到两个人,至终回到独自一人!这一生的日子起起伏伏,曲曲直直,只有处在个中的人体会、诉说一二!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Grown Child

It's has been quite long awhile not writing!
It's works that tied me down & kept me busy that i lost my precious time to do something for myself? Or it is just an excuse that busy keeps me away from writing what's in my heart & thoughts!!!
I was telling myself to stay positive, think positive, response positively to things that happened to me. I wanted to stay firmed & do not give up! I must try hard again & again & again to hope seeing the light coming the way & sunshine to brighten my days.
Never before that the job is getting rough & hard & miserable!!! Everyday seem going to warfare! Endless problems, un-finishing works, too much, too little, too many, too......... too.......... everyday is a hard & tired day!!!
But, I am passing my days, day-in day-out, still trying to get things out. I haven't really give up & stay-out yet. although my boss said something that really hurt, but I swallowed! never in my past I could do it & I did it here & now!
It is not the saddest thing having difficulties in working life! What cuts & made me bleeding deep inside my feelings is the "gift" that return from the grown child! It's the words that hurt! It's the deeds that hurts! ...................... am I really NOT FAIR!!!! Which father would give his child stone instead of bread? Snake instead of fish? I thought I have done enough, but looks like it's insufficient!
I am getting tired ! Physically, mentally, spiritually! Oh GOD, what should I do then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!